Today has been a bad day. Nothing particularly bad has happened, I’m just tired of feeling like I’m living on my nerves all the time. I’m tired of feeling jittery and jumping at every notification that my phone sounds. Tired of jumping at every noise the wind makes. Tired of feeling overwhelmed.
I know it takes time for medication to kick in…I just wish it would hurry up. At the same time, I’m annoyed at myself for needing medication. It makes me tired too, so in the mornings I feel spaced out and discombobulated.
Discombobulated. I like that word. I like words. My blogging is helping me put my thoughts and feelings ‘on paper’ so to speak. I like writing, I’ve kept a journal for as long as I can remember. Still do. I like that this is separate.
I’m also annoyed and frustrated at myself for having slipped back into my unhealthy eating habits and having gained five pounds. I really want chocolate to cheer myself up but don’t want to gain more weight or go out to buy chocolate. Food/ eating is not a healthy coping strategy. Now is not the time to be hard on myself, I’m still working on being kind to myself. Tomorrow is a new day, I’ll get back on track and start using my NutraCheck app again.
I am so thankful for my cat. He’s very affectionate and loves being petted and having his belly rubbed. His purr is so soothing, I could listen to it all day. He’s very vocal and not shy at letting me know if he’s hungry or wants attention. We look after each other. I’d be lost without him.
My boyfriend is also a brilliant support. He keeps me sane, keeps me calm and can always make me feel better. Even thinking about him makes me smile. He makes me happy. We talk all the time and message each other loads when we don’t see each other. I’m so lucky that we found each other. I know I’ve definitely met my soulmate. Suddenly I don’t feel quite so anxious anymore.